Online infidelity: where does it start with chats and likes?

Secret chats, likes, contact with exes: where online infidelity begins, why it creates mistrust and who can help when it leads to conflict.

Love and relationships

Secret chats, likes, contact with exes: online, it quickly becomes unclear where infidelity begins, and that is exactly where mistrust and arguments start.

How it can show up

Secret chats or deleted messages create mistrust.
Likes and contact with exes lead to arguments.
You have never discussed what is acceptable online for you.
One of you checks the other's phone.

Questions for you

There are no right answers. Take the question that stays with you.

Where does online infidelity begin for you, and where for your partner?
What would help you trust again?
Is control in your relationship a sign of care or of power?
When would be a good moment to discuss shared rules?

What coaching can do

Couples counselling is not part of what I offer. At most, coaching can help you clarify your own boundaries and expectations.

When other help fits better

Couples and marriage counselling can help you talk about trust and boundaries. If someone checks your phone or monitors you, that is a warning sign: services against violence can help.

If it is too much right now

Coaching is not psychotherapy and not a crisis service. If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact the emergency services where you are right away, or a crisis service near you.