Compared with siblings or cousins: when it makes you feel small

The sister with better grades, the cousin with the secure job? How family comparisons affect you, questions to reflect on and where coaching helps.

Family and the people around you

The sister with better grades, the cousin with the secure job: you are being measured, often without anyone meaning harm, and it makes you feel small.

How it can show up

At family gatherings a sibling's name keeps coming up as an example.
You only mention your successes once you are sure they can compete.
You measure yourself against paths that were never your goals.
After talking with relatives you feel smaller than before.

Questions for you

There are no right answers. Take the question that stays with you.

What matters to you, regardless of what others have achieved?
Which of your strengths is hardly noticed in the family?
What would you like to say next time someone compares?
Which comparison hurts most, and why that one?

Where coaching can help

Coaching can help you clarify your own goals and standards and say in the family what bothers you about the comparisons.

When other help fits better

If the comparisons have followed you for a long time and strongly shape how you see yourself, working with a psychotherapist can help.

If it is too much right now

Coaching is not psychotherapy and not a crisis service. If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact the emergency services where you are right away, or a crisis service near you.

Want to talk it through?

In a free 20-minute intro call we look at whether coaching is the right way to work on this for you. If it is not, I will tell you so.

Book an intro call