Self-criticism and comparison: finding your own measures

When your inner voice is never satisfied: signs, questions to reflect on, and how coaching helps you find your own measures.

What goes on inside

There is a strict voice in your head that is rarely satisfied. And someone else almost always seems further ahead, faster or better.

How it can show up

After a mistake you call yourself names in your head.
Goals you reach count for a moment, then the next shortcoming takes over.
You measure yourself against people whose situation is completely different from yours.
When others succeed, your joy for them mixes with a sense of falling behind.

Questions for you

There are no right answers. Take the question that stays with you.

Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself?
Who do you compare yourself with most often, and what do you really know about their path?
How would you know that something is good enough?
What did you learn in the past year that you now take for granted?

Where coaching can help

In coaching we separate helpful standards from paralysing harshness and find measures that fit your own path rather than someone else's.

When other help fits better

If the inner criticism is very harsh and comes with low mood or self-loathing, support from a psychotherapist makes sense.

If it is too much right now

Coaching is not psychotherapy and not a crisis service. If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact the emergency services where you are right away, or a crisis service near you.

Want to talk it through?

In a free 20-minute intro call we look at whether coaching is the right way to work on this for you. If it is not, I will tell you so.

Book an intro call