Sensitivity to criticism: handling feedback more calmly

When criticism stays with you for a long time: typical signs, questions to reflect on, and how coaching helps you use feedback.

What goes on inside

A critical remark hits you hard and stays with you for a long time, even when it was meant factually. So you tend to avoid feedback.

How it can show up

You reread a short message from your manager several times, looking for hidden criticism.
In feedback conversations you justify yourself straight away.
After criticism you withdraw or go very quiet.
You avoid showing work before it is perfect.

Questions for you

There are no right answers. Take the question that stays with you.

Which criticism has helped you most, looking back?
What exactly hurts about criticism: the content, the tone, or who it comes from?
What question could you ask instead of defending yourself?
Whose opinion really counts for you, and why?

Where coaching can help

In coaching we practise separating criticism of the work from attacks on the person, asking questions instead of defending yourself, and using feedback for your own development.

When other help fits better

If criticism regularly triggers intense feelings, withdrawal or self-loathing, working with a psychotherapist can help.

If it is too much right now

Coaching is not psychotherapy and not a crisis service. If you are in danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact the emergency services where you are right away, or a crisis service near you.

Want to talk it through?

In a free 20-minute intro call we look at whether coaching is the right way to work on this for you. If it is not, I will tell you so.

Book an intro call